Friday, March 16, 2012

Tribute to the Greatest Kale in the World.

To quote Tenacious D, “This is the greatest and best [kale] in the world... Tribute”

Anyone who is anyone knows exactly what I’m talking about. Obviously, I’m referring to Sacred Chow’s organic Dijon Marinated Raw Kale Tapa. It is simply heavenly, and this, coming from a person who is firmly on Team Collards. When it comes to the Chow’s Kale, collards cease to exist! 

Anyway, I was recently invited to a friend’s vegan potluck (a little bit of food activism!) and I was a bit short on time so I contacted my nemesis good friend, Abby Bean for a quick and easy recipe. A while back, The Bean become obsessed with Sacred Chow’s kale and after years of sweet, experimentation, millions of dollars, and tons of wasted and radioactive kale (wait I’m thinking of the Manhattan Project), she finally cracked the secret of the Chow’s Dijon Marinade. Not surprisingly, it’s simple and incredibly healthy! 

Start with chopping two bunches of fresh raw kale. 

I always select firm and vibrant curly green kale. Other types of kale, such as Dinosaur kale also work, but I personally believed dinosaur kale is better to cook with than to eat raw.

After you chop the greens, set them aside, put on your lab coat and step into the laboratory we call the kitchen! This is what you will need:

Start by picking high quality mustard. Abby prefers a dijon mustard, which is what they use at Sacred Chow. Because I prefer a little more kick, I chose to use a spicy dijon. Then to increase the antioxidant power of the dressing, use hemp oil instead of Olive Oil. You will also need apple cider vinegar; garlic; paprika; a pinch of salt and I also added some cayenne pepper.

I originally followed Abby’s measurements, however after blending everything, it seems a bit off a a little more "runny" than I wanted. So I added three extra teaspoons of mustard, two extra teaspoons of Raw Apple Cider Vinegar, an extra dash of the spices and an extra clove of garlic. These changes gave the dressing a thicker consistency and a stronger mustard kick! If you have an emersion blender, such as a Vitamix, don’t waste time chopping the garlic, heck! Don’t even peel it, just toss the entire thing into the blender and watch it disappear. 

My slightly altered recipe: (makes enough for two full bunches of kale or several individual servings)

                  8 Tablespoons of Organic, Spicy Dijon Mustrard
                  6 Tablespoons of Hemp Oil
                  6 Tablespoons of Raw Apple Cider Vinegar
                  5 Tablespoons of water
                  2 cloves of garlic
                  slightly less than 1 teaspoon of paprika
                  slightly less than 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
                        pinch of salt

(for an oil free version, replace oil with 4 tbsp of veggie broth and increase the amount of mustard/vinegar)

Blend until the dressing is completely smooth and then slowly pour part of the mixture directly onto the chopped kale. This next part is critical. You can not just toss the kale and the dijon dressing. NO! You must massage it. (Please wash your hands very well and then dive in!) As you massage the dressing into the leaves of the kale, slowly add more of the dressing until all of the kale is well covered, but not saturated. 

After thoroughly massaged, put the entire mixture into the refrigerator to chill before serving. This is the way Sacred Chow and The Bean prepare their kale salad; however I spiced it up by throwing a 1/2 cup of sunflower seeds and a 1/2 of raw chopped walnuts to add some Essential Fatty Acids as well as more antioxidants to the mix!

Seriously, you now have an incredibly delicious and healthy starter, and no one will know it took you less than 20 minutes to prepare!

hope to see you out there!


  1. Why is there no “like” button on this post? For starters, thank goodness the apron is back. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, it has been my life’s goal to become someone’s nemesis; it would seem I’ve finally succeeded! And, finally: Tenacious D? Nicely done. As for the Sacred Chow kale tribute: I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    For integrity’s sake, though, I want to point out that I de-stem and TEAR- never chop- my kale. It’s to the point that I don’t even measure the ingredients anymore; I just prepare the dressing to taste. So, if my original recipe is a little runny, mea culpa.

    P.S. If you ever decide to make me some of your kale salad, please peel the garlic first.

  2. Abby, if you tried my soup yesterday, then you ate garlic peel!

    You also brink up a very good point. I also de-stemmed the kale. When I cook with kale i just throw the stems in, but I prefer raw kale to be stem-less.

  3. That soup was really good....
    Tell me you at least washed the garlic peel first?